Author Archives: Geoffrey Scheer

It seems fitting that the most salient thoughts I have regarding this election revolve around my dog taking a shit. Yesterday morning — the Thursday after the election — I took my sweet boy Truman for his morning walk. I live in a residential area in Burbank, surrounded by tree-lined streets and (mostly) well-kept, singleContinue reading “The Consequence”

I know. You’ve all been on pins and needles, wondering if I was ever going to get around to that yearly report on how life is going in the great state of California. “Please, Geoff!” you’ve cried. “End this torturous waiting! Your public needs to know!“ Very well, public. I shall give you what youContinue reading “Annual Report”

Back in early May, I started working for a company I won’t name due to a clause in my contract that bars me from saying anything critical about them (though if you’re coming to this blog post via any of my social media accounts it’s not too hard to figure out who they are, so,Continue reading “Six Months of Bad Writing: A Celebration”

Last month marked one year living in Los Angeles, so it seems like a good opportunity to look back and ask, “How’s it all going?” I’m gonna give it a C+, but it’s trending in a higher direction. Here, in no particular order and with no particular rhyme or reason, is my grade key forContinue reading “One Year In”

I was enjoying lunch with friends awhile back when the subject turned, as it often and sadly does, to Donald Trump — specifically the question of what might happen should he ever be arrested in connection with one or more of the various crimes for which he’s currently under investigation. One of these friends wasContinue reading “Fiat Justitia, Ruat Caelum”

As I have nothing interesting going on in my life, I thought I’d relive a tale from days of yore … Once upon a time I was a member of a musical comedy troupe called The Water Coolers (shout out to any Coolers reading this!!!) which specialized in performing for corporate events both big andContinue reading “That Time Sam Donaldson Tried to Kill Me”

This weekend, I sang at mass for the first time in seven years. It was, in fact, exactly seven years going by the liturgical calendar, as the last mass I did was on Ash Wednesday, and this mass was the first Sunday of Lent. For those who don’t know, I spent twelve years as theContinue reading “Back on the Catholic Teat”

I like to keep my eyes open for any writing gigs that might offer a little cash in exchange for my ability to string words together in a semi-coherent fashion. It’s rare that such jobs are advertised, as writing tends to be more of a “hat in hand” sort of venture, but it’s not unheardContinue reading “Simple Pleasures (Or, That Time I Repeatedly Told Someone to F*** Off and Die)”

What’s this you say, Geoff? You’re not a football fan? That’s strange. With your burly frame and background in musical theater, I would have pegged you as a natural fan of the sport! Oh, don’t get me wrong. I am a fan. A HUGE fan. Massive. I follow the sport closely all season. I followContinue reading “Enjoy the Super Bowl! Preferably Without Me!”